.JACOB GREEN & HIS PENIS.

This was the third section of my book report on The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green for English. Please, this is actually hilarious:)

Braff’s novel The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green is highly inappropriate for children under the age of 13 because of the coarse language and sexual content. An example of this would be on page 88 when Jacob thinks: “My penis moves. A college girl with painted fingernails. I’ll get a boner before my shirt comes off.” Or between pages 91 to 93, when Jacob thinks about many perverse thoughts: “I can see the side of her large pale breasts, pressing against her sheets. My penis begins to fill with blood.” “It’s too late. I’m like blue steel.” “I get a glimpse of the dark and bumpy part of her nipple. I think my penis might break through the pocket of my jeans.” “My penis will pop like a gag cigar.” On page 93 it is all about the fantasies Jacob has over Megan and how he discovers how to masturbate with “soapy water”. When Jacobs parents finally divorce Jacob is stuck with the thought that his mother will be having sex with another man: “The sight of Dr. Nathaniel’s naked body will be more disturbing in that it’s a body with whom your mother has obviously commingled. When for example his penis is brandished…” Examples of coarse language are all around the book. The F word appears the most popular. Shit, piss, crap, bitch are other examples.

The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green is a boring book, brightened up only by the dirty humor that sparks up now and then. From an entirely personal perspective, we hear way more than we need to about a 15-year-old boy's sex life. Although the plot drifts on with a limp with very little forward motion, there are some very funny scenes in this novel that I cracked up at. In the most brutally funny scene here, Jacob’s father "apologizes" for the thank-you card tantrum while driving Jacob to the hospital (he broke his wrist smashing a wall), then begins chattering about plans for an Annie Hall party while his son counts the blocks to the ER. I found that the novel abruptly ended and the conflict was not really resolved. It just reached the climax and I started to think it was getting interesting but then, the plot just did a free fall and crashed. This is why I would only recommend this book to people who are extremely bored and just need a little laugh. Needless to say you should be older then 13 to read this novel.

hahaa